Displaced Blondes
by yulchii
Summary: Tsunade wakes up in a body of a busty blonde with chocolate brown eyes. That wouldn't be so strange if the body wasn't younger than she remembered by about forty years. And if the body wasn't so soft and evidently civilian. And if she wasn't in a different world. Crap.
**Summary:** Tsunade wakes up in a body of a busty blonde with chocolate brown eyes. That wouldn't be so strange if the body wasn't younger than she remembered by about forty years. And if the body wasn't so soft and evidently civilian. And if she wasn't in a different world. Crap.

 **Disclaimer:** Neither Naruto nor Fairy Tail is mine.

 **Warnings:** Language, shinobi and Tsunade (the assholish, busty badass alcoholic? maybe? i dunno) and whatever else there is

 **Rating:** T

 **Word Count:** 2367

 **Author's Note:** I really don't think I should be writing this but oh well, it just wouldn't leave me alone so here it is. And as always: I don't know if it will be continued. It may or it may not. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you saw some mistakes please point them out to me. If you have some advice, I'm open to any suggestions. It applies to all the future chapters. Thank you. (If it will be continued, I will most likely keep it short or I would at least like to.)

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 **.Chapter 1.**

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When Tsunade woke up laying on something soft she couldn't stop a sense of dread that washed over her. She fell asleep on the desk, most likely drooling on some important papers. She snorted, images of the elders frothing at the mouth flying through her head. Those old farts should be grateful she still tolerated them but she wouldn't put up with them and their bullshit like Sarutobi-sensei did. Besides, she would soon be retiring, as soon as Naruto was nearly ready. But the idiot was still a little too inexperienced to take on the mantle. Even after the war he was still too childish and needed more time. She would definitely be sending him on some negotiating missions.

The dread soon disappeared, Shizune or Sakura must have taken pity on her and moved her to her own room. She had such great and caring students, they certainly deserved some vacation. Maybe she should send them to the Land of the Moon? And maybe she should tag along.

She was tired too and wanted to retire now. Maybe she should give the position to Kakashi? Hmm, that was a thought...

She curled in on herself, a satisfied smile curling her lips. Yes, that was an excellent idea and she would finally be able to relax.

She laid there for a few more minutes, content in the warmth of the covers. Her eyes were closed as she simply enjoyed the moment of peace. No Shizune banging on her door and screaming about, getting ready for work, no explosions signifying that the village was under attack and no alarm clocks, shrieking that she should wake up. She could finally have a moment of rest.

She sighed, snuggling into her pillow. The bed was wonderful, soft and comfortable. Never before did she feel that good in her bed. It was hard to believe it was even true...

Was it a prank? Her eyebrow twitched, a frown slowly forming on her face. No, what a stupid idea. Naruto should know better than that...

But what if he pranked her anyway? She gritted her teeth, pleasant thoughts of going back to sleep fleeing her head.

Was it Genjutsu? She was certain that her bed in the Hokage Mansion was a single futon laid out on the tatami floor with one pillow beneath her head, it wasn't too soft but she normally didn't mind that as she was used to worse conditions, what with being shinobi and having lived through three Ninja Wars. But the mattress she was lying on was otherworldly soft, feeling as if was made for little princesses rather than battle hardened kunoichi.

But nooooo. She was only imagining things. She would have noticed if someone came into her room or cast a Genjutsu on her (she was the best medic nin in the whole Elemental Continent, she didn't become Hokage thanks to her good looks, thank you very much, though she _did_ take pride in them, she had great Chakra control and her sensing abilities weren't anything to sniff at, either).

She tried to dismiss the thoughts and go back to sleep but her eyebrow twitched again and she groaned, finally opening her eyes.

She was surprised enough to let herself freeze for a few seconds, eyes glancing around the room in disbelief. It was pink. Now, Tsunade didn't have anything against the colour, her apprentice's hair was pink, but the sheer amount of the girlish colour and childish decorations was overwhelming. Tsunade felt a little faint just looking around the room.

And then she felt something move around under the covers and her blood ran cold. Did she sleep with someone? Was this that person's room? Was it a girl? It must be, men generally weren't much for such garish colours like pink (Naruto and his neon orange didn't count, he was a special case).

She carefully reached for the covers and with excruciating slowness lifted them up. The shit eating grin of the person underneath was filled with sharp teeth.

"HIYA, LUCY!" There was boy with pink hair in there and she frantically wondered if Sakura knew she had a brother and cared about him because apparently she slept with her apprentice's sibling. It was like sleeping with her grandson, really. The thought left her faint and a little green around the edges. She sure hoped she was mistaken.

And when the boy greeted her with a smile, she greeted him with a shriek and a punch to the face that punted him _across the room_ and into the wall, which cracked from the force but stood still as she didn't even use a drop of Chakra. Her normal strength was enough and even now she didn't put her all into the punch.

Tsunade had a moment to spare for thinking _what the fuck was going on_ before she was flinging herself off the bed and out of the room in less time than it took to blink, her shinobi senses going haywire. She quickly looked down at herself to find that she was wearing long blue and white stripped pajama pants while a white wife beater was covering her breasts. Then she bolted the fuck out of the house.

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As she was using Shunshin through the mad dash through the city she noticed some problems.

First, the city she was in was most certainly _not_ Konoha.

Second, something was wrong with her body. It was weaker than she remembered.

Third, she was somehow gathering Nature Chakra. She certainly _did not_ learn it from her summons so how could she? She had no idea. She just was. Somehow. Unconsciously. It was just leaking into her body without her prompting.

Fourth, people here were just civilians, as they didn't have developed Chakra Coils. She would even say that they had much less Chakra than some random civilian in Konoha. Plus, their level of threat was so low that she would have taken them for bugs if it wasn't for the fact that each one of them also had the Nature Chakra curling around their bodies. And the Chakra of these people was weird here, she could tell, because these people didn't look like they had any Sage training (or any training at all, for that matter) and the Nature Chakra seemed to be more than willing to flow into them, when back home she knew only two people that could gather that Chakra. That was Jiraya (who was dead, she ignored the pang of sadness when that thought ran through her mind) Naruto, Orochimaru (the bastard, he never said anything, she got to know through the report some smart, blessed paper pusher wrote for her about the war in general) and Kabuto (supposedly, though she didn't know much about that). Here it was like everyone was a Sage and accomplished ones at that.

Looking at her body, she noticed that it was soft and while there were some muscles there, making her look good, they weren't the hard as steel muscles of an experienced shinobi. They were the muscles of a civilian who cared for her body. At first, she mistankely thought it was her younger body that was at fault but when she caught a glimpse of herself in a window (she was combing through the town, silently and with a Genjutsu applied around herself, masking her presence, that and her ninja skills made her more invisible than even a ghost), she knew that it was not so.

There was a blonde girl there, staring back a her with big chocolate eyes and while Tsunade could have been described like that when she was younger, she knew fairly well how she looked like when she was about that age. When she was a teenager of about sixteen, she was still a little flat, her chest grew when she was a little older and it was uncommon enough (because most girls were just finished growing at that stage, Tsunade was only starting), that she remembered her appearance of her teenage self quite well (through near fanatically looking at herself in the mirror and _measuring_ nearly every day).

Her eyes were also sharper when she was young, narrower, nothing like the doe like eyes of the girl who was staring back at her. And finally, there were no scars, callouses or other imperfections that came from years of hard training. There was also no muscle that she knew she had as a teenager. She was a ninja, she needed meat, training and six packs, not diets, dainty hands and lettuce that this body clearly lived off of.

And despite being a shinobi for more than fifty years, associating with such creepy weirdos like Orochimaru and that pervert Jiraya and many, many years of experience where you always looked underneath the underneath and learned to expect the worst and where she has been a medic nearly all her life, Senju Tsunade, Godaime Hokage, though later denied the claim with great fierceness, still screamed like a little girl when she quickly connected all the dots in her mind.

She stole somebody's _body_.

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Was some girl waking up a world away, in a body of a blonde sixty year old, _shrieking_ from her place in front of the mirror and fainting, banging her head on her bathtub? The ANBU that would arrive at the scene a second later would be understably confused.

Tsunade nearly cried from the mental image. Her reputation would be in shreds if that were so.

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After her initial freakout, that lasted well into noon, Tsunade fell back into her old ninja mindset, cool indifference and clinical detachment taking over. She calmly assessed the body (a little too soft but would serve it's purpose well, was able to channel her chakra, has aquired her Yin seal, _will do_ ) and mind (there was no alien feeling or thoughts and though she wasn't exactly an expert in this department of creepiness (stealing bodies was creepy, no matter what anyone says, and the title of an expert in this field of creepy-ass shit belonged solely to Orochimaru, hands down, so enough said that she was freaked the fuck out), she thought (hoped) that she would have been able to tell if there was someone or something else sharing headspace with her).

Tsunade breathed. _In. Out. In. Out._

Her eyes hardened and she clenched her fists at her sides, her jaw squaring.

She was slowly getting her irregular breaths under control again and sorting through all the information she had in her head. She was in some unknown place, there may be an entire city which consisted of Sages and she may have perhaps slept with Sakura's brother.

Or it was all just a dream. She prayed for it fervently even when she knew it was not.

When she finally assessed the situation as thoroughly as possible while in the woods and still in pajamas, she came to the conclusion that her Chakra has stabilized for the most part. She could feel her Yin seal on her forehead. It was there even though the body was definitely _not_ her own. Her Chakra control was a little screwed but she was sure that she could still perform Medical Ninjutsu and use her super strength (she was a medic, she knew the limits of her body, even if said body was definitely not hers until a few hours ago). She was fine on Spiritual but had just had a little less Psychical Chakra.

Well, then. Time to go back or what. And apologise to Sakura's brother. Whatever. She could do it.

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She could not do it.

As she crouched in an alley, hidden behind a dumpster and with her back to the wall, Tsunade tried to control her breathing. She was a fucking Hokage. She shouldn't be cowering behind piles of rubbish. She should stand strong and face reality.

Except she was cowering behind piles of rubbish. In an alley. In a foreign country because _what_. What were those machines, what were those people wearing, was that food, what language was this sign written in.

She didn't know and she was so not ready for this freakish shit. It was like Orochimaru's wet dream, a different world. With different culture and language (though from the conversations she heard from the streets, people were at least talking in the Elemental Nations customary language, a great fucking relief it was). Have they hid themselves from the Elemental Countries? Were they using seals for this? Or were they even from the Elemental Nations? Was this a compeletely different universe? She remembered Orochi rambling at her once in his scientist mode about something-something-science-science-alternate worlds for every decision we make-mumble-mumble-science-Jiraya you bumbling idiot don't touch that sample!

So yeah. Was she still home or was this an entire new dimension? That was the question.

She scowled. A question she won't be getting any answers to if she continues hiding in here like some frightened little girl. She snorted, she was no girl. She was Godaime Hokage, she could deal with any bullshit but she has to first scope out this place.

She could only hope that she would soon be going back home on some luxurious ship or in a travelling in a caravan because who would ever say no to the _Hokage_? No one, that's who. And if she was nowhere near home, then she had to have faith that there was a way for her to go back home. And actually find that way. Oh, yeah, she wasn't helpless, she could deal with this shit on her wholesome, thank you very much, schauvinistic pigs. She was an independent, _Hokage_ , woman in her prime, there was literally nothing that she couldn't do.

Except, apparently, getting up and going back the way she came from, barelling out of the little town. She could use a drink for some courage... Actually, she cocked her head and smirked, her legs suddenly deciding to stark working when the brain processed the message of warm sake sliding down her thoroat, since she was (maybe) in a different world, she may as well help herself to some alcohol.

Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.

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End file.
